The Learning Umbrella

I’ve already written this month about grumpy and misbehaving children, but I’ve encountered another good discussion of the issue in the book trees make the best mobiles by Jessica Teich and Brandel France de Bravo.  In the chapter titled “safe at home”, they say: “for small children you are that home, that haven of acceptance and predictability.  That your children “misbehave” with you, trust you with who they are when they are most monstrous, is the surest sign that they feel safe” (p. 16).

I think this is really true.  It’s definitely true of me - I “misbehave” the most for my own mother, very closest friends, and my husband.  With them, I can be grumpy, sad, uncooperative, cynical, etc.  If I’m tired, I can admit it instead of smiling and putting on the social mask.

So, when my children seem to save their melt downs just for me, it’s not so strange.  I just wish it was restricted to just in the home - today Carbon had a melt down in Value Village while we were shopping with his grandmother.  So embarrassing to have to haul a screaming child out of the store!  I took him outside and told him to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Later, at home, he beheaded some tulips and I got mad.  I asked him “do you know why I’m mad?”, and he said “don’t be mad, mommy, take some deep breaths”.  Hmmm - is he exceptionally wise or have my own words just come back to get me?