The Learning Umbrella

We habitually serve children; and this is not only an act of servility toward them, but it is dangerous, since it tends to suffocate their useful, spontaneous activity.  We are inclined to believe that children are like puppets, and we wash them and feed them as if they were dolls.  We do not stop to think that the child who does not “do” does not know how to do.  He must, nevertheless, do these things, and nature has furnished him with the physical means for carrying on these various activities, and with the intellectual means for learning how to do them.  And our duty toward him is, in every case, that of helping him to make a conquest of such useful acts as nature intended he should perform for himself … Who does not know that to teach a child to feed himself, to wash and dress himself, is a much more tedious and difficult work, calling for infinitely greater patience, than feeding, washing, and dressing the child oneself?  But, the former is the work of an educator; the latter is the easy and inferior work of a servant.

Maria Montessori, quoted in Montessori From the Start by Paula Polk Lillard and Lynn Lillard Jessen. 

That is the main gem I am taking away from reading this book.  I am not a servant - and I’m acting like one when I don’t include my kids in practical household tasks and their own personal care.  After reading this book, I’ve taken some small steps, like putting a pitcher of water and cups on the table and having the kids pour their own water whenever they are thirsty.  I’m serving their snacks on a tray and having them finish off the preparation: spreading jam or butter, slicing up their fruit with a table knife, scooping yogurt from a large bowl into their smaller ones, etc.  I’m trying to show Hypatia how to dress herself, and I’m having Carbon fold and put away his own laundry.  I’m going to buy a small broom and dustpan so they can sweep the floor, and a handheld Dustbuster so they can vacuum inside the sofa and things like that.

There were other interesting ideas in the book, but I found that the ones I agreed with I was already doing, and the other ideas clashed with my attachment care theories for infant care, or with my willingness to put small furniture in my already crowded house.  But if you have a child under three, you might find some good ideas here.  I liked the fact that this book is not organized as one long development chart, like so many early life guides I’ve read.  Instead, the chapters cover an area of development from birth to age three as one continuous concept.  The chapter on the Hand and the Brain was especially interesting to me, since I think we often forget to plan for hand development until suddenly we try to get them to do handwriting.

If the book has a flaw, I think it is the author’s extreme devotion and faith in Montessori methods.  It struck me that there were some grand promises in the book that I would never be comfortable making about any particular method for anything.  I don’t believe there is any one right way to take care of all children, so I never like absolute statements.

But I’m inspired by this “educator versus servant” idea, and I’m running with that one.  My husband said that it was too bad it was too late to Montessori him and turn him into a good household help - it is too bad.  He could use a lesson on how to fold his laundry …