How to fit the chores in
Aug 21st, 2008 by learningumbrella
One thing that I am not enjoying about my new job is that I never seem to have enough time to do the household chores. DH keeps telling me that it is going to get easier as we get it clean and there’s no one here during the day to mess it up. This is true up to a point. Yes, the kids aren’t here making a mess, and there aren’t lunch dishes to wash. But I have some new chores to replace those old ones: packing and washing lunch boxes, packing fun bags, school bags, and diaper bags, and dropping off and picking up from the nanny’s house. The kids don’t need to take a lunch, but they want to pack snacks because I’m packing a lunch for myself and they have the idea that that is what you do when you leave the house.
And I just am not home enough to keep up with the garden and yard. It’s been raining, so I don’t need to water, but I need to mow and I need to weed and I have cauliflower out there that needs to be picked and frozen. I can’t say “on the weekend” because I’m working this whole weekend too!
This last Monday, which is my work-from-home/off day, I had to spend the whole day cleaning the house. I started from the back, and just tidied, dusted, washed, swept, and mopped my way to the front of the house. In the old days, I did this to two rooms a day, and everything got cleaned once a week that way. It was much more exhausting to do it to the whole house on one day. By the time I was done cleaning I had to make dinner and then head out to a meeting for work. And the dinner dishes were still waiting for me at 9:30 when I got home.
This isn’t a good time for DH to do more around the house, because he’s got 2 projects at work he’s supposed to be full-time dedicated to (so that’s two jobs at once) and then another department keeps throwing extra work at IT also - so he was at work until 9:30 last Friday night and he worked from home all day Sunday. This might slack off after the next work deadline, but with experience I’m coming to expect that I can’t rely on that or on DH to have the time, energy, or will to do housework. On the other hand, he spent his evening last night helping me buy a new laptop for work and cleaning off all the weird software stuff that comes on it. It’s not that he’s not nice and helpful, he’s just not good at housework.
This is sounding whiny, and I don’t want to whine. I’m so lucky, I’m so happy, and I’m loving my job. But I also want to love my house, and it seems so hard to find the time! And I have a flex schedule! OK, the washer has just finished a load, so I’ll move it into the dryer before I leave for work here. You should see the pile I have in my room that needs to be folded …
I might recommend Flylady. She is very motivational, and recommends getting into a daily routine. It works for us. www.flylady.net
good luck!
I often wonder how women manage to keep their homes and work. I can barely keep it when we are home all day.
My one suggestion is to just keep moving. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by what has to be done. I just start doing what is in front of me, putting away items, taking out the trash, picking up toys. Sometimes I count the tasks. I have to laugh when I get up to 100 actions within a mere half hour. It makes me realize how much I do. Before I know it the house looks at least a little better and I have the motivation to to tackle the less pleasant chores.
My dh’s work sounds like your husband’s and my experience is that it won’t ever change. Corporate America is going to continue to wring every last hour from my dh’s life.
Godd luck with the housework.
The way a lot of employed moms cope is to pay for help. That doesn’t help with the dishes and the tidying but having someone come in once a week for half a day and doing the cleaning can make a big difference. And since DH isn’t able to do his part and you are both working, maybe that could be an option. Even once every 2 weeks might make things more bearable.
But the big thing is accepting that you can’t do it all. Prioritize and then drop what can be dropped and get help for what you need help with. Good luck. (And it will get easier when you get into some sort of routine.)
I work part time (7-8 days out of 14). I have to admit, I don’t pay for help inside the home. We have paid friends and family to mow the yard (5 acres is a lot of mowing!), but never someone to clean. Don’t get downhearted! As flylady says, you are never behind! Just jump in where you are at! And, anyone can do anything for 15 minutes; quick tidy, some dishes. Granted, my house is not immaculate, but I have definately seen worse. Much, much worse.
I second the paid help suggestion; we shouldn’t martyr ourselves for a dust-free home. I’ve seen signs for self-employed local house cleaners (queer ones, no less!) around town. My sister used to have twice-monthly help and it made huge difference for her; no worrying about dusting the tops of the fans, just tidying and the daily stuff. You could even do it on a temporary basis.
When you get this one figured out, will you let me know? (I’ve tried Flylady too, but I couldn’t actually keep up with the emails!!)
okay, reading the other responses, I have a further suggestion. Don’t dust. Ever. Well only if it is so thick you can see it from across the room. Don’t buy black furniture and don’t buy glass topped tables. That cuts out a lot of dusting and cleaning finger prints off…
The important things are the bathroom and kitchen. Wipe the sink and toilet down regularly. Keep the kitchen counter clean. Sweep the kitchen floor when you can feel stuff when you walk on it. Mop it when you stick to it when you walk on it. Your kids are big enough not to be down there eating whatever is there.
Also, try throwing a load of laundry in before bed and then tossing it in the dryer or hanging it on the line in the morning before work. Ironing can go.