hitting a learning plateau
Aug 25th, 2008 by learningumbrella
It’s very frustrating to me, but my five-year-old boy still can’t remember the whole alphabet sequence. He’s still guessing at some letters and sounds, he will not memorize sight words, and we are making what feels like zero progress toward reading. His number sequencing is gradually progressing, but some days it seems like we have just taken a giant step backward there too.
Our daily school work is just the same stuff over and over and over again - ad nauseum to me. And I get a bad case of the kid-comparisons when I see other 5 years olds already reading and adding.
If it was someone else’s kid, I would counsel patience. I would tell another mom that brains are growing just like bodies, and there’s about as much point to comparing brain development between kids as there is in obsessing over their changing shoe sizes. Are they growing? Are they being exposed to a learning-rich environment? They’re going to be fine, then.
It’s easy to dispense this advice to others, and see some of the tension in their shoulders relax. It’s much harder to live my own advice, and just let my son be. He does his work, and he’s terribly excited to learn about the things he’s always loved: geography, science, nature, and now history too. He has never liked memorization-type things, even when it was just memorizing nursery songs and dances. He frequently seems to be thinking big thoughts and living at a very abstract level. He has recently begun drawing recognizable things, and his drawings are mostly like blue prints and maps.
If he was someone else’s son, I’d tell them to give him room to explore his gifts and regular practice on improving his weaknesses, but never stress or make him feel bad about how he’s doing. So easy to say, but I hate to admit I actually get mad when we repeat the same stuff over and over and he still doesn’t have it down! I want to say, “how can you not remember what sound the letter W makes!”, instead of just patiently repeating it. Argh.
Plateaus are hard. It can look like they will go on forever. And all we can do is just take it one step, one day, one lesson, at a time.
::hugs::
Sara, you are one of the wisest and most patient presences out here in the bloggy world. Of course your own advice is solid and true - but I can feel the emotional tension too.
We are here for you, we support you, and you are doing the right thing. Carbon is amazing and wonderful, and he will read and add when his time is right.
It might help to take a week or two away from the practice of letters and numbers - not for his sake, but just to ease your own frustration. When you’re ready to begin again, find different ways to present the letters and sounds - though I’d guess you’ve already done that! - and make this learning process as fun for *both* of you as you possibly can.
We’ve recently hit something similar. I’ve been trying to find a positive way to post about it because it is changing our lesson plans for the year.
I’ve also been in a bit of a funk because it seems like everywhere I turn parents are busy talking, commenting or posting about their 12 year old geniuses who would be bored to tears reading anything besides Vonnegut, Hemingway or Thomas Moore. Sheesh. Whatever happened to just being a kid?
You are such wonderful teacher and mama. I have no doubt you’ll ride out this plateau just fine, maybe even look back on it all and smile one day.
Go read Stephanie at Throwing Marshmallows on her boy’s path to reading. Then take your own advice. Phonics might just be the wrong way to go and reading to him about stuff he likes may suddenly click. But maybe only when he is 8 or 9. Really. Steph says it so much better with lots of examples. (http://www.throwingmarshmallows.com/)
Oh, boy do I recognize THAT particular feeling. My JBug had serious reading/number recognition “plateau” issues last year and I got SO frustrated (as in, “How could you not know what a seven is???”). Nothing I did helped and we were getting upset with each other on a daily basis. I finally backed off just to save myself the grief and resigned myself to the fact that my dd would never read or count.
Obviously she did eventually come around. And it was MUCH easier because I had waited, unwittingly, until she was ready.
But you know all this. And it doesn’t make it any easier, does it?
Hang in there.
Ahhh! I lost my whole comment. Sigh.
Basically, child development does not appear to happen in a neatly linear fashion. Sylvia makes huge leaps and then kind of sits back for a while, then leaps forward again when I’m not expecting it. We can’t force our kids’ development; given appropriate opportunities, they’ll do what they are willing and able to do in their own sweet time.
Don’t forget that he just turned 5 and wouldn’t even start Kindergarten until next month. Most kids aren’t reading at that point, many not until 1st grade. Sylvia’s doing certain things “early” (her major strength is language), but other things, like riding a trike, elude her. She’ll sort it out, but maybe a little later than other kids. That doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated that she can’t seem to figure out the simple act of peddling when I see a 2 year old roaring around the park. Just try to remember that he has a ton of time. He is curious and engaged and learning all the time, but maybe he’s just not ready to deal with decoding written language at this moment.
((hugs)) Trust in the advice you give to others.
We have had issues with reading as well.
*sigh*
You already know the answer! Take a deep breath and relax. My oldest is 8.5 and he is still learning to read. He’s taking his sweet time, but he’s doing it on his terms. I had to let go of MY need for him to read for HIM to read. lol.
This parenting thing is crazy.
My second child was this way with reading. It was especially hard because my first child was reading really well at 4, and then her sister was still faltering at the simplest words at 5. Like you, I knew all the stuff about patience and child development. Sometimes it’s so much easier to tell other people though.
In Anna’s case, her reading progressed like a tide instead of like stairs the way I expected. She didn’t get better and better and better. She got better and then seemed to forget everything! LOL I got especially frustrated if she stumbled over something I knew she had already learned.
I finally realized I was taking the joy of learning out of it and I made myself stop with any sit-down reading stuff. I had to trust her, ignore it, and just continue to provide the environment that would help it happen naturally (playing rhyming games, reading to the kids lots, etc.). I also had to step back to really see the tide– instead of focusing on every wave to just back up and realize it was coming in even when the waves retreated half the time.
She started reading at 5 1/2 or near 6. It still didn’t magically click the way it did for Victoria, but it happened on its own and progressed more and more.
She’s 8 now and she’s a voracious reader. No Vonnegut or Hemingway, though. She’s more partial to “Calvin and Hobbes” and chapter books. In any case, it worked out and she loves to read.
Follow your instincts. You’re already giving yourself the best advice.
[…] […]
[…] […]