Trying for a simple Christmas
Why have a simpler Christmas? From The Hundred Dollar Holiday by Bill McKibben:
Since we live with relative abandon year-round, it’s no wonder that the abandon of Christmas doesn’t exite us as much as it did a medieval serf. We are – in nearly every sense of the word – stuffed. Saturated. Trying to cram in a little more on December 25 seems kind of pointless.
We’re encouraged to make Christmas about us – or, more accurately, encouraged to make Christmas about our children. We are encouraged to buy them stuff. But if we make that the center of the holiday, we help school them in the notion that transcendant joy comes from things.
We are, in fact, stuffed. If I could have one perfect gift for Christmas, it would be a clean, simple house. Buying my kids more toys is directly counter to that dream. I am actively sorting and dumping more stuff out of the house, and I don’t want Christmas to undo all of that.
And then, why waste the money on more stuff? I don’t think we’ll restrict ourselves to spending only $100, but honestly, we don’t have a bunch of extra cash that “needs” to be spent. Savings, paying off my student loans – there’s lots of more practical ways to spend money.
The message of Christmas has become so materialistic, and that bothers me. I don’t want to promote more consumerism.
Finally, Christmas is bad for the environment. All of that wrapping paper, all of that stuff – not good.
So, I’ve called my folks (my in-laws have always been pretty low-key gift-givers), and asked that we simplify. I didn’t make a whole lot of traction with my dad and step-mom, but my mom is on board. She’s pledged to just give us one simple family basket, of presents that are meant for the whole family to use together. I think a board game and some kitchen stuff is what she meant. Then we drew names and each family member is doing a stocking for one other person. A simple stocking – some candy, a few cute things, etc. I’m going to shop locally and I’m sure to find some neat stuff for the stockings we need to fill.
For far-away grandparents, I’m going to help the kids make them a homemade book. We’ll take some of the kids’ art, some pictures of them, and some writing by me and I’ll bind it together.
Within our nuclear-family, we’re aiming for really simple. Santa brings the kids stockings each year, and of course he’ll come again. I’m recommending that he bring art supplies, doll clothes, and DVD’s. DH and I will each stuff a stocking for the other, but not exchange gifts. And we’re going to give the kids super simple stuff. DH is going to fix a computer that is sitting out in our garage, and give that to Carbon. I’m going to make HP a mermaid doll. And I’m thinking about making them matching super-hero capes.
We’ll put up our lights on the house, and we’ll get a U-cut tree. We’ll spend one day up in Seattle soaking in the Christmas in downtown atmosphere. We are spending one day at my Mom’s house, and driving up to my dad’s for Christmas dinner. Christmas eve will probably be with the in-laws, and then I’ll go to the late church service. Christmas morning I’ll make pancakes (and maybe splurge by smothering them in whip cream) and we’ll open stockings and then take a walk to spread bird seed for the birds. I don’t want to get stressed. And that includes not stressing about hand-making a bunch of presents. In past years I’ve avoided consumerism, only to turn myself into a crazy Christmas elf bent over a work table/sewing machine for the whole month. Not this year.
I am right there with you. Last year with two children to consider we gave each child two gifts and one combined gift (wooden blocks) and a few quality small items in their stocking. My parents are very supportive but my in laws (oh my in laws-they do drive me crazy) are not supportive. They buy tons of crap despite the fact that I told them I give it all to the Goodwill. Occassionally, I will let them keep something, last year it was a light up plastic thing that spins around but as I suspected they only lasted a few months and were broken. I think my FIL buys the stuff to annoy me and then he has a valid reason to not like me when I tell him I won’t let my kids have the stuff.
Isn’t that joyful and simple?
That bit at the beginning gave me a bit of an AHA moment. Because I am NOT enthusiastic about Christmas. Last year I almost didn’t buy anything for my kid until she said to me “you at least have to do a stocking”. Heck, we’d just been travelling around Europe for almost 3 months and bought her a whole pile of books on the way and taken her to some of her “must see” museums and art galleries. I thought that was enough.
But I think you are right. We now get things all the time and Christmas has lost that magic. Someone else posted that they were reading Little House on the Prairie and had a quote about Laura’s joy at receiving a penny. Hard to imagine.
We’ve taken to giving adults in our crowd charity donations. When in doubt I go to the Oxfam website and choose from their amazing offerings (they’ll send a card to the recipient if you get organized in time) but I’ve started identifying charities that are particularly meaningful to the person and donating there on their behalf. In Canada you can do that through Canada Helps. In the US you can use Network for Good. The small admin fee they take is nothing compared to what it would cost organizations to run a secure website giving thingamy and it means small charities can take online donations.
[...] think Sara hit the nail on the head near the beginning of her post on this subject: From The Hundred Dollar Holiday by Bill [...]
I think the family thing is my biggest challenge. My stepmom went crazy for Sylv’s birthday, and she doesn’t play with that stuff at all. It’s hard to ask it to stop without deeply offending.
OUR Christmas, however, should be great. I’m SO excited about the Christmas book (that was a tradition I grew up with, and it remained one of the warmest, loveliest moments of the holidays all the way through adolescence), and the stocking will be a mix of a very few Target items I liked a lot (little Christmas tree and snowman Play-Doh tubs, Cars magnets) and some things I’ll buy at the co-op (licorice, fruit) or make (candied nuts). The wrapped gift will probably have to be one or two Thomas wooden engines, because that’s all she asks for, any time I mention it, and they sell them downtown. I’m setting a firm budget for S and I to do stockings. It should be what I was looking for: a little richness and warmth without the greed and stress.
[...] shares a quote near the beginning of her post on this subject: From The Hundred Dollar Holiday by Bill [...]